Foot and Mouth on Koh Samui

Thailand is a good place to get stuff done to yourself – massage, tattoos, tooth whitening, plastic surgery………that sort of thing, all cheaper than in Europe. I came away on this trip with a list of items I’d like taken care of. As our time in Thailand drew to a close it was time to start ticking things off the list.

The Foot Scrub

A foot scrub on a beach in Thailand should be a restful experience with an end result of silky smooth feet for a ridiculously low price. I was looking forward to this little treat, half an hour listening to the gentle lapping of the waves as my travel weary feet were transformed. Unfortunately, I must have twisted something as I lay face down on the mat, giving myself a stitch in my side. I lay in agony throughout the whole process, unable to move, worrying that I’d look a right idiot when I eventually tried to stand up! At last I got away, tightly holding my side in an attempt to maintain some dignity, trying not to look at the piles of cotton wool displaying the embarrassing amount of muck that had come off my feet. They are lovely and smooth though!

The Mouth Stud

I already knew the next procedure would be agony. After the first time, I had vowed never to subject myself to such pain again. But I did like my little stud and regretted allowing the hole to close up. If I didn’t redo it soon I would be too old. I suspect I’m way too old already! I’d figured I’d have to wait till Bangkok, Bo Phut being sadly lacking in any tattoo/piercing parlours, but a trip to Chaweng found me checking a handy tattoo shop. He had the right stud and the price was good. There was nothing to stop me. Except the fear. It was far more painful than I remembered. Even the metal clamp he used to stretch my bottom lip out was agony. A quick ripping sound as the needle tore through my flesh, a screech from me and it was done. At least it was quick.

The final items on my list are hair and shopping. No pain there, at least no physical pain as long as they’re careful with the GHDs. These will have to wait till my last few days in Bangkok despite the fact that the hair is becoming fairly urgent now. From the neck up I’ve started to resemble Monica from Friends. Not regular Monica, but the one seen in the episode set on Barbados, before the beads. It’s not a good look.

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